I along with Mary and her daughter Anne left Nairobi early Sunday morning on May 25th to visit Monicah (Mary’s older daughter), her husband Simon and their four children in Nukuru.  Monicah and Simon were also caring for Simon’s widowed sister-in-law, Esther and her three children.  They would all be present as well as another family who escaped the violence with them; a family of three would be there since they all lived together in just a few small rooms.  As we drove up in a rented car with a driver we talked about their family experience and Mary with calm and reverence for her careful but clear words said that what happened to our daughter and her family is so very bad but that was yesterday and we cannot live in yesterday, so this is today and we must forget yesterday and live in today’s world otherwise we will not survive.

I thought how we always say live in the present, try to remain conscious in your life, be aware of what’s happening, all these wonderful, helpful messages to cheer us up, center us, but Mary saying we must live in today’s world or we will not survive, well that is quite a wake-up call.  We had so much fun driving through the Rift Valley of Kenya, this massive, beautiful countryside in nature full of hope and promises.

It seems to me, I related, that we have sections of people living in slums with no room to live a good life and so why not create small rural communities here and give them some essentials to grow food, build schools, and medical clinics and I bet they can become self-sustaining when empowered in communion with nature.  So they respond the only problem is most of the land continues to be owned by private individuals and mostly by a few righ foreign families.  I thought isn’t it ever so unfair and quietly said a prayer for those who have no ownership or rights in their own country!

We stayed and bought lots of food, fresh vegetables, fruits and some meat and bread and of course some flowers.  When we arrived in Nukuru we drove down a long back road lane; like a hallway long and narrow looking for a certain room and then finding it but not knowing what lies behind the door! 

We arrived at a small compound with a large metal door for security and the small door was opened anticipating our arrival.  They all rushed out to meet us in excitement, as joy and happiness was on all their faces, especially, Mary who was relieved to have her family safe today. 

First, I was introduced to each person and I could feel their openness and kindness as they welcomed me into their humble surroundings.  We unloaded the food packages and enjoyed watching the children try to guess if there were special treats for them and thankfully we did remember some chocolates and candy.  They expressed their willingness to sit and discuss their story with me and with others as I chose to do so.

We arranged all the chairs available in the small courtyard and the children sat on the ground in front of the adults.   I had a camera to take some black and white photos and a video camera now in the hands of one of the teenage children to record movements and voices but best of all I had Anne and Mary that made it feel safe and comfortable to record the telling of this story.

The world is full of refugees these days.  Everywhere there are stories telling the events that force people from their homes and lands.  They are the surfacing bubbles of the present world suffering globally in many ways; environmentally, social degradation caused by inequality, the imbalance of assets such as land ownership, power, material goods and education.  So we sat, smiled and prayed together to encourage and prepare ourselves and each other for the story that was to be told.

Monicah, Simon and their four children, Esther, the widow of Simon’s brother Samuel and her three children lived peacefully in Kisumu, Nganga province, some 200 kilometers from Nairobi, Kenya.  They lived in Kisumu for over 20 years moving from the Nairobi area and during that time they acquired a home, a small car repair business, many personal possessions and a community of friends.  Monicah’s family is of the Kikuyu tribe and the Kisumu region is almost exclusively the Luo tribe but they lived together without problems and their children played together while adults shared daily life without tribal differentiation in mostly all matters. 

As the new presidential elections approached a great wind began to stir the underlying past tribal differences and loyalties.  The energy source of this new wind was the fact that the encumbent President, leader of the Kikuyu tribe was being most seriously challenged by the leader of the Luo tribe.

We could call them the conservatives vs. the liberals or the democrats vs. the republicans, or the left vs. the right in the U.S. but we have set up rules to allow the differences to compete and competitions for victory by man sometimes has no limits to gaining victory.  We simply should take a close look at our recent history and the same for others also, before we judge other cultures failures.  The pre-election rhetoric by the candidates and their organizations divided the Kisumu community by tribal loyalty or party loyalty.

Campaigning in the streets was fueled by political promises, such as more tribal benefits in government for the Luo tribe since the Kikuyu tribe was more dominant and received greater national benefits, also money to motivate street demonstrations which led to drinking, guns and other weapons to threaten the opposite side.

Monicah and her family along with other Kikuyu families began receiving threats, days before the election on Dec. 29, 2007.  The night of the election, their home was surrounded by their neighbors and other members of the Luo tribe.  So much had changed so quickly as the streets of this quiet town for the past 20 years were filled with violence.

People were being beaten, even killed, homes and businesses were being destroyed and their assets taken by people that together in the past shared food when needed.  Monicah and Simon earlier that day were able to get all the children out of town to another relative who promised to move them to another area quickly and safely.  So they and other adults remained as the winds of tribal differences were mixing with the poison dust of politics that had now become violent about to destroy the weaker families as in this case, Monicah’s family.

Fortunately, a few loyal Luo tribe neighbors helped Monicah, Simon and some friends escape their homes and in the middle of the night.  They trekked 2 kilometers to the “Concleie Police Station” in Kisumu.  They left all they possessed at home, clothes, personal possessions, except for a few items and their food.  Also, they left their business, building and equipment as they were pushed by the winds into their uncertain future.

The police station was filled with many Kikuyu people who had also fled their homes.  They all told stories of threats, injuries, deaths and many fires along the way.  Inside the station there was no space left and no place for people to sleep, as they mostly stood next to each other and there was no food or water to drink.  The police station was surrounded by angry Luo tribe members threatening to enter and kill them. 

Monicah said that together they were able to keep their faith alive through prayer and not only about their lives but that their children were okay and that they would be safely reunited.  Thinking about others and having something so important in their lives to live for, as their children, gave them a purpose not to quit or give in to the difficulties as both Monicah and Simon explained their feelings at the time.

They were determined to leave the police station and Kisumu.  They were able to again receive help from a few Luo tribe friends.  They were placed in a transportation car.  Traveling was dangerous and the roads were blocked with stones and fire and their car was being attacked with rocks.  Due to this dangerous situation as they also witnessed violence against other people along the way, they abandoned the road and took refuge at the Kipabet Police Station about 80 kilometers from Kisumu after driving many hours.  They stayed at this police station for more than 7 days with almost no food or water, but not knowing about their children was the deepest hardship they felt.

After more than 7 days a government police escort was sent to accompany the group of refugees from Kisumu to Nukuru where relatives could give them temporary shelter and where they agreed to meet the children being accompanied by their grandmother and a friend.

In Nukuru they were reunited and the children spoke of similar hardship, threats, lack of food and water but they believed they would see their parents again throughout the journey.  So they were all united, Monicah, Simon, their four children, Esther and her three children and a neighbor couple and their two children.  They described it as a day of all joy and happiness.  They are now struggling, trying to make ends meet, finding new schools for the children, paying rent for their small house and how to start a new business without capital are some of their problems.

They  exist day to day with the help of family and friends while Simon tries to pick up work where he can but it is very difficult.  Simon is a patient man with a large and powerful body and he is also religious with a strong faith.  He seems to be handling his role as husband and father well even though it is difficult as head provider for his family to be unable to do so under the present conditions.  Monicah is sensitive, humble and a bit overwhelmed by the changes brought on by the recent past.  So much has been taken away especially her home where she could provide safety and comfort for her children.

She is also religious and has a strong faith, which she freely speaks about calmly and reverently.  She says that it is so hard to forget and forgive and goes inwardly as she talks about the pain and with her head leaning downward her eyes take on the same dusty windstorm look with blazing sun rays that was similar to Anne’s mesmerized face the morning she introduced me to the story, that morning at the breakfast table.

The story carries feelings and emotions while the body speaks it in sometimes similar ways as we connect with one another in our loving compassion to share the experiences.

They all say that it is hard to forget all that has happened being victims of violence brought on by their neighbors in Kisumu and losing all they created for the last 20 years but each day they try.   Through their faith in God, the love and help of family and friends, they try everyday to forgive.  We have the heart to forgive and forget and we must move on with our lives.  They repeated among themselves as we ended our conversation.

It seems so apparent here that human beings have many capacities expressed in different life experiences.  The human side can be so caring and comforting and then it has the capacity to inflict great pain and also to destroy another in the acts of violence.  This family’s story as so many around the world sadly show us this terrible but basic reality of who we are and how we behave in the world when threatened, stressed or manipulated by small minded leaders.  However, here I again noticed and deeply felt that within this human framework there is a being, a soul, a spiritual guiding voice that is ever present delivering a profound blessing that through its grace empowers us to choose living instead of dying.  We instinctively want to continue living beyond the violence, the losses, the injustices, and have this great capacity through the act of forgiving and loving those that have damaged their lives as the perpetrators of the evil acts.   St. Augustine said that, “the evildoer harms himself first before he harms his victim.”

I was so honored to tell them of the Amish community in Pennsylvania who lost their children to violence in a school massacre.  The family immediately reacted not through blaming the evildoer and his family but to reach out to them and forgive while offering prayers of love and compassion.

This made their community stronger and did not empower evil but strengthened their faith in their belief structure.  This story touched my heart because it is similar in the lives of millions of refugees and in many cases the suffering of others have been even more severe.  So if we can open our hearts to the stories such as this beautiful family in Kenya and to the Amish community in the U.S. we can gain strength and encouragement in our lives as we experience our difficult road as refugees through life.